Fighting Sleep

We’ve all been there — you’ve followed the perfect bedtime routine, the room is dark and cozy, your baby seems tired… but instead of drifting off to sleep, they’re fussing, crying, or wide-eyed and ready to party. Sound familiar? If your baby is fighting sleep, you’re not alone — and the good news is, there’s usually a reason (and a solution!).

Let’s talk about why your little one might be resisting sleep and what you can do to help them settle down peacefully.

Why Do Babies Fight Sleep?

Babies fighting sleep is totally normal, but understanding why it’s happening is the key to fixing it. Here are some common reasons:

1. Overtiredness

This is one of the biggest culprits. When babies stay awake too long, their bodies produce stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, making it harder for them to relax and fall asleep. It’s like they get a second wind — but instead of helping them sleep, it makes them fussy and restless.

Signs of overtiredness:

• Rubbing eyes

• Yawning

• Arching their back or stiffening their body

• General fussiness

What to do:

• Watch for early sleep cues (like rubbing eyes, zoning out, or slight fussiness) and try putting them down before they get overtired.

• Keep wake windows age-appropriate — shorter for younger babies, longer for older ones.

2. Undertiredness

On the flip side, if your baby isn’t tired enough, they’ll resist sleep because… well, they’re just not ready yet!

Signs of undertiredness:

• Happy and playful when you’re trying to put them down

• Taking a long time to settle

• Short naps or waking up quickly

What to do:

• Adjust their wake windows — try adding an extra 10–15 minutes of awake time before putting them down.

• Include more stimulating play during awake time to burn off energy.

3. Separation Anxiety

Around 6–9 months, babies start to develop stronger attachment to their caregivers — which is great for bonding, but not so great when it’s time to sleep. They may cry or protest simply because they don’t want you to leave.

What to do:

• Reassure them with a calming voice and gentle touch before putting them down.

• Try using a comfort object (like a small lovey) if they’re old enough.

• Gradually practice leaving the room for short periods during the day so they get used to it.

4. Discomfort

Babies are sensitive! Things like teething, gas, a wet diaper, or even room temperature can make it hard for them to settle.

What to do:

• Check the basics: fresh diaper, comfy pajamas, and a room temperature of around 68–72°F (20–22°C).

• If teething is the issue, try offering a chilled teething toy before bedtime.

• A gentle tummy massage can help with gas or digestion discomfort.

5. Overstimulation

Lots of activity, bright lights, loud sounds, or too much screen time right before bed can make it hard for your baby to wind down.

What to do:

• Create a calm, predictable bedtime routine (think bath, book, and cuddle).

• Dim the lights and reduce noise about 30 minutes before sleep.

• Try white noise or calming music to help them settle.

How to Help Your Baby Stop Fighting Sleep

So, now that you know why your baby might be fighting sleep, here’s how to make things easier:

✅ Create a consistent bedtime routine. Babies thrive on routine! A predictable sequence of events (like bath → book → cuddle → bed) helps signal that it’s time to sleep.

✅ Adjust wake windows. If your baby is overtired or undertired, adjusting their wake windows by just 10–15 minutes can make a huge difference.

✅ Use calming techniques. Rocking, shushing, or gentle bouncing can help soothe an overstimulated baby. But if you want to avoid creating sleep associations, try to phase these out gradually.

✅ Practice independent sleep skills. If your baby relies on you to fall asleep (like needing to be rocked or fed), try to put them down when they’re drowsy but awake, so they learn to self-soothe.

✅ Be patient. Babies are learning and growing constantly — sleep regressions, teething, and developmental leaps can all disrupt sleep. Sometimes it’s about weathering the storm and staying consistent.

When to Reach Out for Help

If your baby consistently struggles with sleep despite trying these strategies, or if sleep deprivation is affecting your well-being, it might be time to reach out for support. A sleep coach can help you develop a personalized plan to get your little one (and you!) the rest you both need.

You’ve Got This!

Remember, sleep isn’t a straight path — there will be bumps along the way. But with a little patience, consistency, and some gentle adjustments, you’ll help your baby find their way to better sleep. Sweet dreams are closer than you think!